Mr. Rogers Was Not of This World. And Hindsight Tells Us Neither are We.
Hindsight isn't 20/20 if it's HUMAN, and seeing the threads of our lives through more enlightened lenses.
Hindsight is always 20/20. Or so they say. I personally don’t know about that, since 20/20 indicates perfectly clear, accurate vision; and, when we reflect with human hindsight…we hardly do so without some personal lens or view that-though more evolved and clear than before- can really keep our reflections from being completely perfect and accurate. This doesn’t mean that we can’t trust our own reflections, because we know that they will always be through the context of whatever we know about ourselves, our world, life, etc. at the moment of reflection.
It means that we just have to be aware of the filter or lens that we want to go through, so we can pinpoint specific lessons that we’d miss just thinking of how “we as an individual” have seen, or do see the world.
For those who are like me-people who know that they’re life purpose is intertwined with their professional one-the lack of a clear project, space, initiative or community to work with is a limbo we’re all too aware of. I would be lying if I said that it’s not dangerously easy to slip into feeling uselessness, and of no worth. If we choose to see our lives and ourselves from a capitalist point of view, then our inherent existence is not special enough. Especially when the cultural environment that we live in, has been reinforcing that specific lens for decades.
I’ll give you this quote from Mr. Rogers first heard in In a clip from the 1967 film "Creative Person: Fred Rogers” which perfectly sums this up.
“I don’t think that anybody can grow unless he really is accepted exactly as he is. ‘Cause if somebody’s always saying to a child,
“You’re going to grow up and you’re going to be fine—’
There’s so much of that in this country anyway, that a child is appreciated for what he will be not for what he is. He will be a great consumer someday.
And so, the quicker we can get them to grow up and the quicker we can get them out of the nest, so that they will go out and buy—you know, set up their own home at twelve, maybe—then the better.”
The first time I heard this quote, we were watching “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” where they reenact this scene in a way. Tim Honks btw was meant to be Mr. Rogers, I fully believe God made Tom Hanks so these moments could be revived now.
Humanity has been living in this lens of existence for so long, that I think it’s radically badass and rebellions-to begin to release ourselves from the bondage of a large societal thought pattern. One which has so insidiously engrained itself into the collective subconscious. It reminds me of a very common Christian saying, that I believe has been really misunderstood-especially by me in my years of staunch anti-Christianity:
“Not of This World”
I’m not going to give you all the verses or a huge thing on this. Personally, I’ve reached an understanding of this phrase that applies to all of us who generally know the way the world is now, is not for us.
I live in this world where everything is sellable-yourself, your soul, your beliefs, your gods. I live in a world that is by and large not very loving, understanding or empathetic. I also live in a world where people are defined by their job title.
Just because I am in this world, does not mean I am made of the same materials that it is. Locationally, I live in Costa Mesa, CA which is a very white-privileged, racist, expensively bougie, superficial and status based place. I live here, but I am not of this world. I live in a world and professional world where the 9-5 work schedule, is based off the circadian rhythm and hormone cycles of neurotypical cis-men. Obviously, as an autistic Asian woman….that structure is not set up for me. That world, I definitely am not of.
For a moment, keep that churning in your brain, as I’ll come back to it later-don’t you worry!
I’m going to get personal with you here:
For months, I have been feeling as if I am purposeless. Maybe years, though the last few months have been the thick of it.
Something many people know about me, is I find a lot of purpose in the work that I put out into the world, or do for the world. That doesn’t mean I determine all of my personal worth, based on my job. I think it’s more along the lines of feeling less like myself, when I’m not using my knowledge and skills towards things or people outside of myself. Not everyone is like this; and, it comes with its own set of lenses, viewpoints, filters that need to be worked with/around/out of.
In the last couple months, I’ve been exploring my upbringing in a Christian Pentecostal Evangelical pastor’s family; alongside my last decade or so as a pagan in my professional and private belief practice. I have recognized a few lenses that I’ve been seeing through; and like a spy cycling through the night mode, infrared, or x-ray views of a pair of binoculars, layers and layers of information have been revealed to me.
My favorite movie of all time-followed very closely by The Meg in all it’s Jason Statham, giant shark gloooooooOOOOory-is The Prince of Egypt. In this movie, there’s a musical number where Jethro (the Priest of Midian who’s daughter marries our GOOD OLE BOI MOSHE) expresses to Moses that he must look at himself through heaven’s eyes.
I bring this up, because I believe that the best way to learn the lessons, find guidance or peace that we’re meant to, is to reflect with Heavenly Hindsight. Not in a way to condemn, but in a way to see every path or thread that has created the tapestry of our lives.
We have to zoom out with the expansiveness that comes with- have a reflective viewpoint that allows for that which is beyond our own human understanding. We’ve gotta give room for what we didn’t know at the time, what we know now, and what we don’t know yet.
When I look at my entire life through the lens of being a “smart and functioning adult” in the eyes of the capitalist machine we live in, I’m a failure to say the least.
I’ve never had a job working for another person or company, that I was able to hold past a year. Even when I started working for myself, I was taking risks that nobody else would take-that capitalism would say are huge mistakes in terms of financial safety or freedom. Just being a working psychic in a county where there’s more than one business with Bible verses on the wall; conservative Christian and Catholic communities run deep; and, being in a family known through the county as Christian leaders…? Stupid. Should’ve just been a teacher like my mom, because here I am without a 401k; decent insurance that would actually cover all the stuff I need to be a healthy person; a resume that has lots of gaps; and I’m at an entire reset in my career, with the last decade of my spiritual psychic career essentially null now that I am a self identified Christian.
The hindsight employed in reflecting this way, is human hindsight. It’s limited based on what little my human brain knows or has experienced in life. It’s also based on the inaccuracy of the human emotional memory.
Heaven’s eyes for me, means through the eyes of the Christian God. I personally am an Old Testament Yahweh fan; and, Jesus is the most punk rock, anti-capitalist badass I can think of. For anyone else, that might be through the eyes of Hathor and Horus; or, Ganesha; or Kali. Though, if you truly do go through Heaven’s Eyes, we see that all of those gods and deities are the creations of the “BIG G” God. I find this lens of reflection, this “how does God see the tapestry of my life” to be the most accurate. It’s the most expansive. It provides for all the possibilities. It allows, also, to see the true breadth of Divine power; and, that we have a perfect place in that creation. One that doesn’t find value in what we’re paid for or how long we’ve been paid for it.
I cannot tell you the way I have desperately prayed for God to give me somewhere to go, a purpose to be given. I echo my own teachings when I say that we have to ask for signs and messages to be so obvious, that they can’t be ignored. Where I used to say this about other deities, or spiritual guides, it still applies now when I say: we’ve got to ask God to slap us in the face with a sign, or two-or in my case twenty billion because I am just an oblivious human being. I also have that thing where if it’s too obvious, I think my brain ignores it, lol. So whatever the message, it’s gotta come at me more than once.
Where this ties into that “not of this world” phrase, is this:
When I look at my life, and purpose, and profession through the eyes of the world I currently live in-the quite literal state of culture and society on earth or in my immediate community-I can’t do so using “world colored glasses.” If I do, I use the tools of a world that I am not part of in many ways-from belief system to mental chemical processes. In doing so, I use tools that are formed based only on human knowledge and experience which is unfortunately too micro-individualistic…micro-momentus. I’m just makin’ up words now.
A personal example of how I’m going through this in the last two days-ish.
Remember how I said that I’ve been begging God to be obvious in his answers? He is. He has been. I, as a human who can make mistakes, or just doesn’t know what I don’t know at any given time, have just not been seeing them. They’ve been coming, and have been there.
Here’s how:
The first spiritual thing I ever did for someone else, was banish an entity from a space. I worked at a school for a bit, and helped a coworker who definitely had a ghost in her classroom get rid of it. She never had a problem there again. When I did this, I did it in the name of Hathor-a protective hearth and home goddess from Ancient Khemet.
A few months later another coworker at the same school had just moved into a new apartment with her sister, and her sister’s daughter. The daughter had been mentioning seeing and feeling a spirit that would bother her sleep. I did a whole Catholic style, Latin exorcism there, during which we heard bangs and weird stuff moving. Afterwards, I left her with a candle and some holy water to do a ritual prayer for a week or so. They also didn’t have issues after that.
In many instances I have helped ghosts cross over, and clients detach from things like that.
Many of my dreams right now involve me purging entities from spaces, having to speak up.
I grew up in a church where REGULARLY I would see the act of casting out demons and spirits.
Last week, our pastor and family friend continued a sermon series on RECUSITATION-which…is exactly what it seems I’ve been needing based on my dead in my purpose feeling. In the sermon, he talked about what a lot of pastors wouldn’t-battling with a straight up demonic entity that will not let you move your body. Casting it out, or having help to cast it out. You can check out the youtube recording of it here: Grand Central Collective 9-10-23
About two days ago, a client reached out to me about a possible entity that’s been plaguing her child-who’s already emotionally and spiritually sensitive. You all know me and my soft sport for the babies, I was like “I WILL HELP YOU” even if my help means finding them a few local options for priests or shamans (depending on their comfort level) to help detach whatever’s going on. When I got the email, I felt like I couldn’t turn this down. A sense of nervousness, and being unsure of if I should be doing it came up-the same feelings I had before I started venerating and communicating with the Dead. Or when I was asked to teach my first official esoteric philosophy class. I felt like Moses when he told God “IDK MAN I am bad at talking, send anybody else, maybe????”
But Heavenly Hindsight shows me this feeling is how God tells me what I’m doing next. Because shit needs to get done, and Lao Tzu said it best when he said that “not everybody has the bones.”
“But Kieu, if you look through Heaven’s Eyes, don’t you view talking and working with the dead in the past as evil?”
Nope. Here’s why.
I live in a world that views gifts like these from a very dogmatic, uninformed Christian lens. The lens of Christian people, dated Christian texts that have been *selectively canonized by a committee of dudes is the one that would tell you my ability to cleanse a space, read a tarot card like nobody’s business, or talk to the dead the same way I talk to God as evil. This is because the view of most Christians today, is informed by a static view of teachings-that come from people who don’t actually read the Bible I’m convinced lol.
Flawed Human Hindsight still exists, even when yielded in the name of something Holy.
This is not a world that I am OF, but it IS the world I’m in.
But the world that I AM of is the one that is a creation of Heaven. Heaven’s Eyes, are the eyes of the Creator, of everything. God created me, perfectly imperfect, psychic gifts and all. When we say that the Bible is the Living Word, and that God is alive, it means that He continues to create people with the same gifts and purposes the Prophets of the Bible had. God gave me the ability to hear beyond human hearing, in an esoteric sense. Through God’s POV, the hindsight of my life shows this:
I asked God for obvious signs about what the actual fuck I am meant to do with my life, and not only is He delivering in real time, but he HAS BEEN DELIVERING my entire life. I wouldn’t recognize the full extent of how INSANE God is with his planning skills. I’d kill to see the tabs in that Man’s binders.
He’s doing so via opportunities that come to me-like my client a few days ago. He’s delivering every Sunday as Eric and I go to CHURCH-giving it another shot after both having been in Christian and Catholic communities that exhibit more of people’s darkness, than of God’s Light. God delivered ten years ago, when I was clearing out spirits from classrooms with the help of God’s creation (Hathor). He will continue to deliver these obvious signs, the more entity banishing dreams I have; opportunities that come my way; people who ask for my help in the future.
All of these threads through time, have created and will continue to create a tapestry of a life that I am satisfied with, as well as God. And…that’s the thing.
The lens of the world we live in, but aren’t of, will tell me that only the higher power should be satisfied.
For many that means sacrificing your own joy of life for God-which isn’t what God wants. God does not want us to create MORE suffering on ourselves, or deprive us of what lights us up. Not when the world we live in and the nature of human life has hard moments or suffering built in already. The same hindsight filter also says that every “non-Christian” esoteric thing I’ve done or learned about, should go out the window and I have to now be 180 different person with new friends, new thoughts, new whatever-which would cause a lot of suffering (and probably take me away from opportunities to do what I’m meant to do for those who need it). Sometimes the higher power that people aim to please, is whoever it is that pays them-and not always in money. Their boss with a paycheck; partners and validation; parents and approval; customers and continual business.
I’ve tried to find fulfillment through the lens of the World, by resting on my laurels, offering readings or doing things that I know I can do and can make me money-but don’t make me happy or feel fulfilled. I tried to do it when God pushed me to explore more of my ancestors. I said “God I can read a card, a hot sauce packet, a piece of toast, but please do not make me deal with these ghosts.” I’ve tried going through the motions of my old beliefs of paganism, that did a lot of good things for me in the past; and no wonder I lost my love and passion for it. I stopped growing. I stopped doing. And nothing changed, really.
When we forget we’re not of this world, and start resting on the laurels that The World taught us, nothing changes.
Not me, not society or culture, not how others feel or view themselves. We stay on the hamster wheel, running after the carrot we’ll never catch, that’s being dangled in front of us by some authority/power/ideal that doesn’t actually apply to us anyway.
Why? BECAUSE the capitalist, corrupt human lens has taken away the beauty of possibility-the positive signal that is nervousness; and warped it into a red flag to keep us comfortable for an illusion of worth or security…Nothing changes, because the hamster stays on the wheel. And we keep looking out our lives as if we are the hamster. But the hamster doesn’t know shit, really. It knows the walls of it’s cage, and maybe it’s escaped a few times, but it still just knows what it’s like to see the world as a hamster.
When the hamster starts to view the world through the lens of the one dangling the proverbial carrot of satisfaction, or the creator of the hamster-that meant more for that hamster than perpetual treadmilling-we get a taste of what life is meant to be-of the world we’re of, and want to create rather than the world we’re in.
Mr. Rogers is the best to provide the first steps off the wheel: a lesson he got from GOD and was moved to teach through PUPPETS.
“It's you I like,
It's not the things you wear,
It's not the way you do your hair
But it's you I like
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys
They're just beside you.But it's you I like
Every part of you.
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue
That it's you I like,
It's you yourself
It's you.
It's you I like.”
And though he sang it in a song, don’t we all know that God speaks that way best sometimes? How else could some of us be disarmed enough, safe enough, to remove the world colored glasses to view ourselves through the eyes of Heaven?
Your homework for this post, which has nothing to do with Christianity unless you want it to is this:
Take the lyrics of “It’s You I Like”, and really make it about YOU. And then take that new YOU version, and stick it on your mirror; make it your phone wallpaper; set an alarm to listen to the Mr. Rogers version with your version in mind every morning. This will help, because the first step of seeing everything through Heaven’s Eyes, is to first see ourselves.
I’m rephrasing to talk to myself like God would, and then how I would talk to my inner child (who went by her American name Teejay), inner adult, person I am now. Because if GOD likes it, then so do I.
It's Kieu God likes,
It's not the things she wears,
It's not the way she does her hair
But it's Tee I like
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you
Not the labels that hide you,
Not your friends,
They're just beside you.But it's me I like
Every part of me.
My name, my eyes, my feelings
Whether old or new.I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue
That it's you He likes, It's me myself
It's you.
It's you I like.
If you get anything out of what I’ve said today, please understand this:
It’s scary to admit that we are fine just the way we are. Not just fine. Fearfully and wonderfully made, even. It’s scary to admit that we are loved, liked, and valuable even when we don’t fit into the worlds we find ourselves in. I say this as someone unsure still of where they fit as a Christian who talks to ghosts, and now apparently knows that God is calling her to be a full Tiger Aunt for Jesus casting out evil. It’s scary to shift our view from worldly success, to person and divine satisfaction. But all these views are human. All these views are linear, and narrow when compared to how God views us-or whatever you believe in.
I invite you to take a cosmic look at all the threads that have been woven together to bring you where you are now, because it can give you a good perspective of the rest of the pattern that’s being woven. The rest…is not our job to know. It’s God’s or the Universe, the Fates, whatever whoever. We just have to find a little more peace in trying to do our jobs by going where we’re called-not going where our skills easily transfer; where we’ve already established audiences; where we said we would NEVER GO; or where this capitalist construct of current existence tries to shove us.
Oh and don’t forget!!!
If nobody’s told you today, I like you just the way You are.
With Lurve
Kieu